April 29th 2010
Today was an ego affirming day. I’ve been running around like a rat in a maze trying to get all these costumes together for Sweet Shop which begins shooting in two days and of course Murphy’s Law reigns. “How” I can hear you cry, “can you have an ego affirming day when you are mid hell week, sleep deprived, surrounded by models and rocking ghetto fab like it’s going out of style?” (Tee hee) Well let me tell you. I was out shopping in the Charity Shops for some finishing touches on Simone’s café costume. I had just picked out a charming Top Shop blouse and was headed over to inspect the belts when I inadvertently disturbed the rather unfortunate chap in the corner. I had not noticed him before but nearly stepping on a person brings them rather sharply to your attention. He had dark greasy hair and plastic glasses perched on a bright red bulbous nose. He was hunched over his sci-fi novel reading with the loving devotion of a monk pouring over holy texts. Or a curious 13 year old guiltily perusing the lingerie section of the Sears catalogue. Every so often he would tug on the end of his already enflamed nose and the movement of his arm would stir up the air around him wafting an acrid cloud of body odour to the olfactory sensors of the unsuspecting. Suddenly my need for a belt was not so pressing. I scuttled to the front of checkout counter. The unfortunate chap scuttled to the back of the checkout counter.
“Did you find everything alright?”
“Yes, yes I did thank you.” Don’t breathe… Just don’t breathe…
“Top’s nice. It’ll look good on you.”
“Oh it isn’t for me.”
“Do you have any plans for tonight?”
“Oh, I expect I’ll stay in.”
“That’s a shame. My friends and I are going out for drinks later. Newbury has a pretty good nightlife. ”
“I had no idea. Well, you have a good day then.”
As I walked out of the Cancer Research post haste intent on hitting up a few more shops before packing it in I reached into the bag to collect the receipt for my records. Instead I found a little hand written note.
Saw you looking all cute in Cancer Research
and decided I’d slip you my number.
in case you would like to go for a drink?
Sam the Volunteer
There have been only a few times in my life where I was well and truly, jaw droppingly, shocked. This was one of those times. For several seconds I stood there agape like a cartoon character. Then my mind began to work again.
Who does that? Seriously who? And when did he have time to write it? Surely there wasn’t really enough time. Which means he had to have written it before he rang up my purchase. Even before I’d realized he was there. Or maybe he does this a lot. Maybe he had a stash of little notes to slip to unsuspecting bargain hunters. Every time a cute girl walks in he gets his game on, grammar school style. Oh man, those pigtails are so cute! It’s time to pass some notes!
Now I want to know if it works. Do the lucky recipients of old school spam sit there and read the note and think “Well he thought I was cute and he is a volunteer…”
*Not the real number.